I have been divorced for over 2 years now. My son and I are quite close, but I had to do the hardest thing when I got divorced... I had to leave.

My ex-husband wanted the divorce and even wanted full custody. I did not allow it and went for joint custody. The problem was that when the divorce was going on, I was only 6 months into trying to get back on my feet. My ex wanted me to pay half of the house bills when he made 2 times more (nearly 50K). The other part was catching up to old bills as I took care of my son out of the home for 3 years of his life.

It left the house with my car and whatever could be fit. I had no idea what things I could do legally and felt depressed, used, and stupid all together. I had no place to go except for my folks' house. It was humiliating for me because I had not lived there since high school and had been quite independent. I was broken.

I am sure others have similar stories. I get to see my son more than the every other week because my ex and I are at least on amiable terms. That was after I broke down on him. It was kind of funny... now that I think about it.

However, it was hard. When I tell people that my son does not live with me, I can see it. They think I am a horrible mother. I am not. Angel is not suffering with his father, nor when he is with me. I can ask to see him anytime now and that is great.

It just is hard because sometimes when I think about it and let it creep up on me, I miss him. All the pictures on the wall of my son are not the same comfort as having him laughing and talking and playing with me.

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