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TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2012

Things Jen Can Do Without.


  • Olives.  All olives.  They are vile.  That is all I have to say about that.
  • Poor health.  I probably should have listed this first but I also really hate olives.
  • Family members, friends or strangers in poor health.  Sometimes I wish that I was an all powerful healer.  It rips my heart out when someone is sick and suffering.
  • Heartbreak.
  • Liver.  The nano second liver hits my tongue, my gag reflex kicks like Bruce Lee.  No way.  No how.  Remember that scene from the movie "Mommie Dearest" when Joan Crawford makes her stubborn daughter sit at the dining room table all night because she refuses to eat her liver?  That would be me.  Yuck.
  • The music of Michael Bolton and Mariah Carey.  
  • Washington D.C. humidity.
  • Washington D.C. humidity while stuck in traffic with a broken air conditioner.
  • Washington D.C. traffic in general.
  • Eggs over easy and the yolk is broken.
  • Eggs over easy and they are overcooked.
  • Jackhammers.  These really stress me out.
  • Pooping in a public restroom.  I know that I am not alone here.
  • When I am out at a restaurant for a nice meal and someone is blatantly rude to the staff.  This really chaps my arse.
  • No tequila in my freezer.
  • No dark chocolate in my freezer because my freaking kids ate it.
  • My naughty cat waking me at 3am for food or company.   
  • Sitting through a bad movie.
  • Having to pee really bad in the middle of a great movie.
  • Stepping on a crab in the ocean.
  • Driving in the dark on black asphalt when it is raining.
  • Bad wine.
  • Cellulite.
  • Water skiing in the Chesapeake Bay.  Lots and lots of jellyfish.  Valuable lesson learned here.
  • The Monthly Curse.
  • A Marine Corps drill instructor hollering in my face.
  • Standing in the checkout lane and realizing that I put my card in the back pocket of my jeans which are sitting in the dirty clothes basket AT HOME.
  • Brown panelling.  But it is growing on me.
There you have it.  My personal shit list.  
Not too long and a reminder of how blessed and thankful I am each day for the wonderfully simple things and beautiful people I share my life with.

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