** Seeing his grandma in the buff apparently doesn't phase my son in the least.

** Hot flashes and sea sickness don't mix well with a pirate ship cruise.

** And just because it's a "pirate" cruise does not mean that Johnny Depp is on board.

** A sandbar is a big old wet playground of possibilities.

** My kids have decided their bedtime is never o'clock.

** Driving a jet ski is one surefire way to get a fast and furious salt water enema.

** There is nothin' quite like a margarita on the beach.

** It'd be easier to take a couple of chimpanzees out to dinner than it is to take my kids sometimes.

** Never mess with a girl who's packing a squirt gun and a noodle.

** The inhabitants of conch shells look eerily similar to vaginas.

** Overcooked bacon is not really a look I'm trying to achieve.

** Even when it's a crispy 95 degrees outside, my kids still dig the hot tub.  Go figure.

** Half the sand in Florida traveled back in our suitcases.  Lucky for us.

** Returning to a leaky kitchen ceiling is a helluva coming home present.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.



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