** Naked is evidently the way to go this summer.
** As much as I love my husband, I really don't think I'd tackle someone trying to throw a pie in his face.
** Chopsticks actually help get my kids to eat their veggies.
** My son thinks I'm a car and driver expert.
** I am NOT a car and driver expert.
** If Calgon could REALLY take me away, I wouldn't be bathing in it -- I'd be doing mother effing shots of it.
** Jimmy Fallon & Justin Timberlake made a "History of Rap Part 2" that I am totally loving!
** It's safer to just wear a helmet 24/7.
** My kids are trying to provide air conditioning for the whole flippin' neighborhood, one open door at a time.
** Sanitation Department Head is yet another unfortunate thing I can add to my resume.
** If there is a playdate addicts group, I'm totally signing up my daughter.
** Mopping up water in the basement at midnight is definitely NOT one of my favorite pastimes.
** My days are too often like Dolly Parton's bra -- crammed full of WAY too much stuff.
** A turtle with brick shoes could get out of a car faster than my kids.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.