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** Kids pick the most awesomely inopportune times to take a dump.

 

** Summer = an impromptu game of kick-the-can on a random Monday night.

 

** Goatdog is about to become a street dog.

 

** I wouldn't do well in that Little House on the Prairie.

 

** If Tuesday and Wednesday had a Facebook page, I would NOT click the "Like" button.

 

** Dealing with a moronic pharmacy tech is about as much fun as a pap smear with a hot poker.

 

** School starts in T minus 648 hours -- uh, not that I'm counting or anything.

 

** Hard-boiled eggs make your whole house smell like farts.

 

** I really REALLY want a hammock.  (Hint, hint.....)

 

** My to-do list is reproducing more than the Duggar family.

 

** Taking your kids to the grocery store is like taking a junkie to a crack den.

 

** Someone evidently stole my happy place.

 

** Nobody likes a know-it-all.

 

** There's nothing sexier than watching your husband empty the dishwasher completely unprompted.

 

** As you get older, surprises are usually of the unwanted kind (e.g., a 3 a.m. bed changing).

 

** Bare skin and hot ovens do not mix.

 

**  Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?  LEAVE A COMMENT & TELL ME!!!! >>

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