** I am evidently NOT Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.
** The Coupon Suzy lady scares the absolute hell out of me.
** 2 AM looks WAY different than it used to.
** I really need to start slippin' Immodium A-D to the birds around my house.
** School starts in T minus 456 hours -- but, again, who's counting???
** Caller ID was one of the greatest inventions of our time.
** The snooze button was one of the WORST.
** Moms who pop out a baby & still look like super models can suck my big left toe.
** When people say "caulk", it always sounds like "cock".
** The world's a much happier place without humidity.
** I could give a rat's ass who's gonna be on the next "Dancing With The Stars".
** My kids wait to accidentally pee the bed until just after their sheets have been changed.
** Mosquitoes are trying to suck out whatever life is left in me.
** Telling my offspring not to step in the mud is like telling my husband not to snore.
** I'm pretty sure I would melt if I lived in Texas.
** Much to the surprise of my children, I cannot, in fact, produce food right there on the spot.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK? LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW & TELL ME!!! >>