** Recovery time from the weekend is much much longer than it used to be.

 

** I should just hand out money to trick-or-treaters as much as candy costs these days.

 

** School pick up in the rain is about as much fun as filing your nails with a chain saw.

 

** It's impossible to get the smell of dead snail off your hands.  Don't ask -- just trust me.

 

** Google is my co-pilot.

 

** Wind storms scare the holy beejesus out of me.

 

** Lindsay Lohan and Bozo the Clown apparently have the same makeup artist.

 

** Goatdog prefers Gillette razors.  Again, don't ask -- just trust me on this.

 

** I could avoid all the Halloween costume drama if I just went as a nudist this year.

 

** The evolution of road rage surely began in a school carpool line.

 

** I clearly need to see more drag queen shows cause they're a rockin' good time.

 

** NOBODY (and I do mean NOBODY) knows how the hell to spell Muammar Gaddafi.  (See?)

 

** Homework time is way less stressful when the babysitter is in charge of it.

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK??? >>

 

 

 

 

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