** Candy corn disappears faster than wine in my house.  (And that's FAST!!!)

 

** My allergies can seriously suck it.

 

** Little girls and drama go together like hookers and high heels.

 

** It's called a "hot" glue gun for a reason.  Ouch!

 

** I'd forgotten how much I wanna feed Barney cookies laced with rat poison.

 

** One-upper storytellers are the worst.

 

** There are some REALLY interesting customers wandering around the adult "toy" store at 11:00 in the morning.

 

** Getting out of bed when it's raining in the morning is pure and utter torture.

 

** Snooki has evidently written her second book, which makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

 

** Pumpkin bread is a naughty, seductive little nymph.

 

** Library books are inevitably overdue -- at least in my household, anyway.

 

** My happy place has had a "No Vacancy" sign on its door as of lately.

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

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Comment by britt greenwood on October 28, 2011 at 11:21am
I needed to read your page!  I'm currently making trips back and forth to the bathroom with my stomach-flu stricken toddler.  Most definitely needed a laugh!

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