** My kids find dirt faster than a junkie finds smack.
** Movie popcorn always seems like a good idea at the time.
** A jackhammer at a Metallica concert would be quieter than some of the carpools I've driven.
** Canker sores and teeth are a HORRIBLE combination.
** The a-hole who's been trying to hack into my email account should totally be thanked........with my fist.
** A dirty, random whiffle ball has somehow found its way into my purse. WTF?!
** The people in this house are seriously one pile away from becoming hoarders.
** I could watch Channing Tatum writhe around on the floor all day long. Just sayin'.
** If you want something done, do it yourself. Or just say screw it, and open up some vino.
** Pulling out in front of someone is totally not cool. Unless it's me pulling out in front of you.
** Insomnia can kiss my sleep deprived ass.
** Friday the 13th is a day where I will throw a black cat under a ladder if it even tries to cross my path.
** I'd rather watch paint dry than wait on hold for customer service.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>