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** There's no calling in sick when you're a mom.

 

** Antibiotics and my stomach are soooooo not BFF's.

 

** Kids are ten times louder when you tell them you have a headache.

 

** The dirty clothes hampers in my house are like Michelle Duggar's uterus -- never ever empty.

 

** Finding a needle in a haystack is easier than finding a babysitter anymore.

 

** I'm about to go all A&E on the candy that's being hoarded around here.

 

** Saying Kim Kardashian didn't profit from her "fairytale wedding" is like saying that I have a penis (and I assure you that I do not).

 

** The Halloween decorations are evidently not gonna take themselves down.

 

** I might very well be allergic to myself.

 

** The extreme infatuation with his boom box might indicate that my son is the next Lloyd Dobler.

 

** I'd like to thank the genius who decided to repair ALL the streets in my town at the exact same time.

 

** A mother's intuition is even more accurate than a crystal ball.

 

** My kids have already started making their Christmas wish lists.

 

** Santa better start turnin' tricks down on the corner.

 

** The holidays can't REALLY be on the horizon, can they?

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

 

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