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** I totally know how Jack Torrance felt.  Cabin fever can suck it.

 

** Only 25% of the pee in this house actually makes it into the bowl (and that 25% belongs to ME!)

 

** My referee whistle needs to be a helluva lot louder.

 

** Michelle Duggar REALLY needs to learn how to just say no.

 

** Chocolate chip pumpkin cookies are the equivalent of crack to me.

 

** If clogging up toilets were an Olympic sport, my children would have a gold medal in it.

 

** Some assholes can evidently turn a blind eye to unspeakable acts, all in the name of football.  Unreal.

 

** Nothing is quite as hysterical as poop and boogers when you're eight years old.

 

** Just hearing the mere mention of "snow showers" in the forecast makes me wanna hibernate till April.

 

** Not sure what's more magnetically drawn to my house -- mud or germs.

 

** Reading glasses are in my foreseeable future.  (*Insert old lady joke here.*)

 

** It's not easy to go from sloppin' mac n' cheese in sweats to chit chattin' in fabulous cocktail attire all in one evening.

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK??? >>

 

 

 

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