** I totally know how Jack Torrance felt. Cabin fever can suck it.
** Only 25% of the pee in this house actually makes it into the bowl (and that 25% belongs to ME!)
** My referee whistle needs to be a helluva lot louder.
** Michelle Duggar REALLY needs to learn how to just say no.
** Chocolate chip pumpkin cookies are the equivalent of crack to me.
** If clogging up toilets were an Olympic sport, my children would have a gold medal in it.
** Some assholes can evidently turn a blind eye to unspeakable acts, all in the name of football. Unreal.
** Nothing is quite as hysterical as poop and boogers when you're eight years old.
** Just hearing the mere mention of "snow showers" in the forecast makes me wanna hibernate till April.
** Not sure what's more magnetically drawn to my house -- mud or germs.
** Reading glasses are in my foreseeable future. (*Insert old lady joke here.*)
** It's not easy to go from sloppin' mac n' cheese in sweats to chit chattin' in fabulous cocktail attire all in one evening.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK??? >>