** Duct tape and dead bolts need to become part of our nightly bedtime routine.
** Jerry Sandusky makes even the devil himself look like a saint.
** My kids evidently think the floor is a coat rack.
** That annoying Target lady in all her camel toe glory is back again. Hide your eyes, people.
** I've said "Cover your mouth when you cough" no less than 35,788 times since Monday.
** A new fort has been built every which way I turn in this house.
** I'll need to be heavily medicated when my overly dramatic daughter goes through puberty.
** Selective hearing runs way too friggin' deep in this family.
** The power of a big huge hug just absolutely cannot be beat.
** Third grade math sure knows how to make me feel like a complete idiot sometimes.
** My last uninterrupted conversation took place in 2002.
** If I got a dollar for every cup of milk my kids spill, I could hire a full-time maid to clean all that shit up.
** Designing the family holiday card is way more fun when wine's involved (as is pretty much everything else in life....)
** My husband was very likely Rip Van Winkle in a previous life.
** I live with pigs.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?? >>