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** Duct tape and dead bolts need to become part of our nightly bedtime routine.

 

** Jerry Sandusky makes even the devil himself look like a saint.

 

** My kids evidently think the floor is a coat rack.

 

** That annoying Target lady in all her camel toe glory is back again.  Hide your eyes, people.

 

** I've said "Cover your mouth when you cough" no less than 35,788 times since Monday.

 

** A new fort has been built every which way I turn in this house.

 

** I'll need to be heavily medicated when my overly dramatic daughter goes through puberty.

 

** Selective hearing runs way too friggin' deep in this family.

 

** The power of a big huge hug just absolutely cannot be beat.

 

** Third grade math sure knows how to make me feel like a complete idiot sometimes.

 

** My last uninterrupted conversation took place in 2002.

 

** If I got a dollar for every cup of milk my kids spill, I could hire a full-time maid to clean all that shit up.

 

** Designing the family holiday card is way more fun when wine's involved (as is pretty much everything else in life....)

 

** My husband was very likely Rip Van Winkle in a previous life.

 

** I live with pigs.

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?? >>

 

 

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