** My son isn't afraid to run a song straight into the ground.

** Neither time nor cheese is on my side.

** If answering questions was a high-paying job, I'd be rolling in the benjamins.

** I feel naked without my cell phone.

** It's such a nice change of pace to get something in the mail besides bills.

** An uncooperative eyelash can totally funk up your driving skills.

** Judge Judy would be awesome at dodgeball.

** Getting the short people out the door is like herding turtles.

** Every time I think we're done with the damn winter gear, I've gotta dig it right back out of the closet again.

** When you trip over your own feet and fall on your ass, it's not always easy to pretend it didn't happen.

** Sometimes it's easier just to close the door than it is to clean up the mess.

** A Porta Potty at Lollapalooza is probably cleaner than my kids' bathroom.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

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Tags: Judge, Judy, bills, dodgeball, family, job, kids, mail, moms, motherhood, More…parenting, questions, winter

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