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** Someone should come up with a Beano for brain farts.

 

** Motherhood is no place for migraines.

 

** Our water bill's gonna be $10,000 this month, thanks to my son's obsession with the hose.

 

** Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is louder than the volume of a carpool of short people.

 

** Digging for your keys in a random trashcan in the alley is nothing short of horrific.

 

** School starts in T minus 312 hours -- oh come on, you know you're counting down too!

 

** There's evidently a movement for Bert and Ernie to get married on Sesame Street.

 

** Some people can't seem to let puppets just be puppets.

 

** According to my kiddos, ladies, we all have "paginas" between our legs.

 

** When one door closes, another one opens.....at bedtime.....in my house.....every friggin' night!!!!

 

** Playing Wii with a sore loser is about as much fun as having a mammogram with a piping hot panini maker.

 

** I see the glass as half empty -- when it's wine that's in the glass.

 

** The world does not revolve around YOU -- yes, YOU, little old lady in the express lane with WAY more than 15 items!

 

** There's more sand on the floor of my house than there is at the beach.

 

** My house suddenly sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies at night when my husband's out of town.

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK? LEAVE A COMMENT & TELL ME!!! >>

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