** If I ever turn up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is most likely where you'll find me.
** My daughter thinks I was born in 1818. Seriously, she asked if that was my birth year. WTF?!
** Entirely too many people think they have the right of way.
** Elementary School Open House could also be referred to as Nuts on a Stick. (Props to my awesome friend, Lauri, for teaching me that phrase!)
** My kids should totally get a speeding ticket since their mouths go 100 miles a minute every morning.
** Kleenex's in the pocket are unfortunately never discovered until after the laundry is completed.
** It's not easy to concentrate on a phone conversation when your dog's simultaneously taking a giant shit in your kitchen.
** Cash disappears from my wallet faster than my husband does from cleaning duty.
** The questions -- they never ever freaking end, do they?????!!!!!
** I really really need a life organizer.
** "Because I said so" seems to have lost its mojo.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>