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** If I ever turn up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is most likely where you'll find me.

** My daughter thinks I was born in 1818.  Seriously, she asked if that was my birth year.  WTF?!

** Entirely too many people think they have the right of way.

** Elementary School Open House could also be referred to as Nuts on a Stick.  (Props to my awesome friend, Lauri, for teaching me that phrase!)

** My kids should totally get a speeding ticket since their mouths go 100 miles a minute every morning.

** Kleenex's in the pocket are unfortunately never discovered until after the laundry is completed.

** It's not easy to concentrate on a phone conversation when your dog's simultaneously taking a giant shit in your kitchen.

** Cash disappears from my wallet faster than my husband does from cleaning duty.

** The questions -- they never ever freaking end, do they?????!!!!!

** I really really need a life organizer.

** "Because I said so" seems to have lost its mojo.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

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