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** My world is just a series of pee splatters and poo.

 

** It's a true challenge not to laugh when telling your eight year old how inappropriate it is to yell "cocks".

 

** Throwing food can be liberatingly fun.

 

** Pretending to be stupid so you can cut in line is sooooooo not cool.

 

** Some sick a-hole had the balls to create a lingerie line for little girls.  WTF?!

 

** There are about a bazillion books I wanna read with absolutely no time to read them.

 

** My friends and I really need to have an "adult" lemonade stand.  Just sayin'.

 

** The past five days have been a pain in my neck -- literally.  Can someone massage this crap for me?

 

** Listening to a group of kids giggling makes my heart happy.

 

** I've unclogged so many toilets lately that I'm gonna start sportin' plumber crack any day now.

 

** Watching fireworks from a boat on Lake Michigan is nothing short of spectacular.

 

** Whoever said "Don't cry over spilled milk" never saw how much friggin' milk my kids spill.

 

** The start of school is in T minus 144 hours -- can I get a YEE-HAW??!!

 

** It's hard to have a clear outlook on life when your doors are covered with dog snot and handprints.

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK? LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW & TELL ME!!!! >>

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