** My world is just a series of pee splatters and poo.


** It's a true challenge not to laugh when telling your eight year old how inappropriate it is to yell "cocks".


** Throwing food can be liberatingly fun.


** Pretending to be stupid so you can cut in line is sooooooo not cool.


** Some sick a-hole had the balls to create a lingerie line for little girls.  WTF?!


** There are about a bazillion books I wanna read with absolutely no time to read them.


** My friends and I really need to have an "adult" lemonade stand.  Just sayin'.


** The past five days have been a pain in my neck -- literally.  Can someone massage this crap for me?


** Listening to a group of kids giggling makes my heart happy.


** I've unclogged so many toilets lately that I'm gonna start sportin' plumber crack any day now.


** Watching fireworks from a boat on Lake Michigan is nothing short of spectacular.


** Whoever said "Don't cry over spilled milk" never saw how much friggin' milk my kids spill.


** The start of school is in T minus 144 hours -- can I get a YEE-HAW??!!


** It's hard to have a clear outlook on life when your doors are covered with dog snot and handprints.


** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.



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