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** The first week of back-to-school mornings are nuttier than squirrel poop.

** Nobody appreciates bedtime more than a parent.

** Mom guilt sucker punches me on a daily basis.

** But, hey, at least my daughter's not twerking on national television!!!

** Messes and bad luck follow me around like a lost puppy.

** Naps -- they do a body good.

** Just because it's a locker room does not mean you have to do your WHOLE get-ready routine in the nude.

** Overreacting to every little thing just makes everyone around you bat shit crazy.

** I wish I got paid for all the procrastinating I do.

** Satan can take his weather back any day now.  Cause I'm over it, thank you very much.

** If I could find a big enough bubble, I'd be putting my kids right into it right now.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

 

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