** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef. And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef.
** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime.
** A sick kid at home makes for an incredibly unproductive week.
** I've eaten so many damn holiday cookies that you should probably start calling me Santa.
** Telemarketing calls to my cell phone REALLY piss me off.
** My kids are just a little too skilled at turning the bathtub into a water park.
** December is the only month when I actually get excited to check the mailbox.
** When video game privileges are revoked, my son's like a taxi driver without a GPS.
** So many people in this world need an "OFF" button for their mouths.
** Unfortunately, Goatdog prefers to puke on the rug instead of the hardwood floor.
** The sounds of laughter, NOT gunshots, are what little children should be hearing.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle. (At least I keep telling myself that anyway....)
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>