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** If you take up two parking spaces, you shouldn't be surprised when you're door-dinged.

** Putting my husband in charge of homework supervision is like putting my kids in charge of homework supervision.

** Some people really don't understand the importance of getting to the damn point.


** V Stiviano is nuttier than squirrel poop.

** If it looks like a prostitute and acts like a prostitute, it's most likely a prostitute.

** Making dinner reservations for 40 people is like orchestrating a battle.

** I thoroughly enjoy having my kids do my dirty work.

** Sometimes the best memories are the ones that were spontaneously made (and no, that's not a sexual reference, perverts!)

** Showering is, sadly, at the bottom of my to-do list these days.

** I'm already beyond sick of Kim and Kanye's wedding, and it hasn't even happened yet.

** An itchy head makes me immediately think of lice.

** The lazy, hazy days of summer cannot get here fast enough.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

 

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Comment by Marcia Fowler on May 26, 2014 at 9:44pm

I learned that cotton candy, a hot dog and part of a hot pretzel will give a 5 year old a stomach ache.

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