** We actually made it to the beginning of the school year without my kids stabbing each other!!

 

** New backpacks make everything more exciting.

 

** My son can evidently make his leg fart.  (I'm so proud.)

 

** I can't even watch the previews for scary movies anymore.

 

** I'm raising the king and queen of bedtime procrastination.

 

** It helps to remember that there's always someone with a messier house than you.

 

** The media is harder up for Kim Kardashian's big-ass wedding (*pun intended*) than a thirteen-year-old boy is for a Playboy magazine.

 

** Texting is WAY better than talking on the phone.

 

** Bribery and child labor are the keys to successful parenting.  Just sayin'.

 

** Mothers just don't have time to be sick.  Like ever.

 

** Earplugs and duct tape are an absolute must for driving carpools.

 

** I'm once again a walking, talking human ATM machine.

 

** Nothing gives you a self-induced heart attack quite like accidentally setting off your own home security system.

 

** While my kids sure know how to stone-cold harden my heart, they also know how to melt it like butter.

 

** I really suck at being put on the spot.

 

** Children and Sharpies do NOT belong together.

 

** An overcrowded community swimming pool is best referred to as "people soup".

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW & TELL ME!!!! >>

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Tags: Kardashian, Kim, bedtime, carpools, family, kids, motherhood, parenting, pool, school, More…texting

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