** Summer really needs a speeding ticket.

** Inspirational quotes do nothing but piss me off when I'm in a crabby mood.

** The Olympics have evidently convinced my kids that there's a vault in our second floor hallway.  (And I assure you there is not.)

** My brain has a serious case of the farts lately.

** The top of the dog crate has become quite a popular storage shelf.

** Planning a party at your house is a good motivator to organize all your piles of shit.

** Apparently, nobody's gonna tell ya when you've got raspberry seeds in your teeth.

** It's really just not even worth asking "Why?" anymore.

** Dealing with an automated phone system is like having a monkey give you directions.

** It's a tiny bit awkward when your kid pulls out a set of toy handcuffs when you have company over.

** Ethiopian food is super yummy (even Goatdog digs it!)

** My mom was right -- nothing good ever happens past midnight.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>