** Mother's Day should really be Mother's Weekend.

** My brain is on MAJOR end-of-the-school-year overload.

** Warm weather just makes ya wanna eat ice cream.  (Or is that just me?)

** Some people should really reconsider making sex tapes.

** When someone sits down next to me at the beach & smokes in MY space, it makes me wanna get up & go over & fart in THEIR space.

** I could really use Morgan Freeman to lull my kids to sleep at bedtime.

** Birds purposely wait to take a shit until AFTER I've gone to the car wash.

** The world would be so much better off if we never had to see another picture of a pregnant Kim Kardashian in her damn bikini again.

** Rainy days and morons always get me down.

** Sometimes public castration seems to be the only reasonable punishment.

** I need a chauffeur. And a maid. And a chef. And a winning lottery ticket.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

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