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** I might very well be the most unorganized person on the earth.

** Bite-sized candies can kiss (but not stick to) my ass.

** The only person who hates homework more than my son is me.

** Kids can go from Sweetheart to Demon in zero point two seconds.

** For the life of me, I'll never understand what my children have against flushing the damn toilet.

** Insomnia is like a pimple that pops up at the absolute worst possible time.

** Not even Red Bull could give me wings lately.

** Contrary to popular opinion, a school zone sign does NOT mean to drive like you're in the Indy 500.

** I kinda want to be a professional photobomber when I grow up.

** The skunks are trying to outnumber the people in our neighborhood.

** Haunted houses apparently don't scare me anymore.  (Maybe it's because I've seen scarier things in my kids' bathroom.)

** Sitting next to the grill at a Japanese steakhouse makes me feel a little too much like Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >> 

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