** School was, like, the greatest invention ever.


** Once again, homework can seriously suck it.


** I don't do math without my smashed grapes.


** Camping is so much more enjoyable when I don't have to be a part of it.


** My daughter's room smells like a pig took a shit in a sauna.


** The Fanta song is something that you definitely do NOT want to get stuck in your head.  (You're welcome....)


** 4 AM is way too good of friends with my bladder.


** The Mentos Geyser Eruption experiment is a total "blast" of fun.


** It's a whole lot easier to scoop dog poop if you remember to bring a poop bag. Or a bulldozer.


** An innocent bystander will soon be mowed down by my son and his Evel Knievel scooter skills.


** Nina Frye of "Living the Dream" Mom Radio is all that and a bag of chips.


** Whoever created the toy whistle should have one shoved straight up his pooper.


** Perfection is totally overrated.


** I don't get the fascination with "Dancing with the Stars" when it's basically a modern day Lawrence Welk show without all the bubbles.


** Sitting in your kid's pee is not at all rewarding.


** I'm ready to hang up my flip flops and dive into Fall.


** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.



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