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** It's really difficult to do pushups when the dog's trying to hump you.

** Mornings around here are nuttier than a jar of Jif.

** If my house could talk, I'm pretty sure it would say, "Oink!"

** Little boys' fingernails are dirtier than the floor of an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day.

** Allergy shot are not a very fun way to get poked.  Just sayin'.

** I can't bring myself to correct my daughter when she says "rememorize" instead of "memorize" -- it's just too darn cute.

** Calling the insurance company is the equivalent of human torture.

** Sadly, finding a bagel in my son's dirty clothes hamper is not at all surprising.

** There's not a single clock in my house that has the correct time.

** Evidently, I'm expected to solve all the world's problems while trying to take a pee.

** My husband wants to murder Siri.

** If my kids don't stop growing out of all their clothes, we really will have to become nudists.

** It stinks (literally) to be stuck next to the chick at the gym who forgot to put on her deodorant.

** If I catch a leprechaun this weekend, I'm totally making him clean my kids' bathroom.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

 

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