** It's really difficult to do pushups when the dog's trying to hump you.
** Mornings around here are nuttier than a jar of Jif.
** If my house could talk, I'm pretty sure it would say, "Oink!"
** Little boys' fingernails are dirtier than the floor of an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day.
** Allergy shot are not a very fun way to get poked. Just sayin'.
** I can't bring myself to correct my daughter when she says "rememorize" instead of "memorize" -- it's just too darn cute.
** Calling the insurance company is the equivalent of human torture.
** Sadly, finding a bagel in my son's dirty clothes hamper is not at all surprising.
** There's not a single clock in my house that has the correct time.
** Evidently, I'm expected to solve all the world's problems while trying to take a pee.
** My husband wants to murder Siri.
** If my kids don't stop growing out of all their clothes, we really will have to become nudists.
** It stinks (literally) to be stuck next to the chick at the gym who forgot to put on her deodorant.
** If I catch a leprechaun this weekend, I'm totally making him clean my kids' bathroom.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>