** Nobody ever forewarns you about all the skid marks of motherhood (and I do mean that LITERALLY).
** My kids have more energy than Richard Simmons on cocaine.
** Screaming is evidently my son's new favorite hobby.
** I sure know how to waste a crapload of time.
** Sleeping with the window open totally rocks.
** Boogers are NOT meant for sharing (Did ya hear that, kids???!!!)
** There are entirely too many cute fall boots for sale.
** If I had a dollar for every question I've answered lately, I could afford to pay someone to answer all the questions I've been asked lately.
** "Goodfellas" never ever gets old, no matter how many bazillion times I watch it.
** I really need an adult vacation. Like far, far away.
** Grocery shopping with children should be avoided at any and all costs.
** If you trip while out in public and think no one noticed, they did. They ALWAYS do.
** I'm 39 years old and STILL doing spelling homework. WTF??!!
** If a man looks like a gang of pubes have collected on his chin, he should probably think twice about sportin' a beard. Just sayin'.
** Mom guilt is seriously trying to kick my ass.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK? TELL ME BELOW IN THE COMMENTS!! >>