** I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to myself. *itch* *scratch* *sniff*
** Erectile dysfunction commercials make me really uncomfortable.
** School supply kits should come with Advil and wine so parents can deal with all the homework meltdowns.
** Only the assholes of the world should be able to get cancer.
** The smoke alarms in our house are no doubt possessed.
** That early bird can choke on the freaking worm for all I care.
** A family of monkeys would be neater than my kids when it comes to eating.
** A one-sided conversation is about as much fun as a pap smear.
** Just because it's trendy doesn't mean that EVERYBODY should be wearing it.
** Finding a giant spider in your hair right before bed is a helluva way to end the day.
** Everyone should have a place to call her own -- even if it's under the bed where her children can't find her.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>