** I most certainly did NOT inherit my mom's hair-braiding skills.

** Apparently, Gap Kids sells husky-sized skinny jeans.  Anybody else confused?

** Winter can kiss my lily-white patootie.

** However, the thought of the approaching swimsuit season scares the holy Thin Mints out of me.

** Dropping your iPhone into a pile of snow is never a good thing.

** I'm as good at following directions as I am at being on time.

** Stepping on an overripe banana feels eerily similar to stepping on an overripe turd.

** People post entirely too many pictures of their food online.

** Cereal.  It's what's for dinner.  Every.  Freaking.  Night.  (Allegedly.)

** Fresh flowers can brighten up a whole entire room.

** A really nasty fart can clear a whole entire room.

** If you asked me how tired I am, I wouldn't even have the energy to tell you.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.




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