** Inadvertently headbutting the door with your forehead is not the best way to open it.

** When a fart rips through your yoga class, you can't help but feel bad for the person who let it slip out.

** Glue guns and Google are two of the BEST inventions on the planet.

** My kids should have to pay labor costs for all the time I've put into making their Halloween costumes this year.

** Every day this week has seemed like Thursday.

** It's once again time to brace ourselves for the inevitable whining that'll come from yet another Taylor Swift breakup.

** I've managed to take tired and multiply it by infinity.

** People who call themselves "parenting experts" are really just "know-it-all's".

** Sandy is a super lame name for a hurricane.  Just sayin'.

** Evidently, Donald Trump REALLY wants to see Obama's report cards.

**  Pole dancing means something entirely different and innocent to my daughter (and thank God for that!)

** If I don't write it down, there's no way in hell I'm gonna remember it.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>