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** Mother Nature forgot to take her meds once again.

 

** People who only write inspirational quotes for their Facebook status scare me.

 

** If you're a random piece of crap, you're probably sitting on my kitchen counter.

 

** Everything should be pumpkin-flavored this time of year.

 

** Drawing a stick figure can be a real hoot -- who knew?!

 

** I evidently need to remind the kids not to drink their bath water.

 

** The amount of garbage that's shown on daytime t.v. is truly astonishing.

 

** Me not dropping my iPhone is like Ozzy Osbourne not dropping the f-bomb.

 

** If you can't see over the steering wheel, you probably shouldn't be driving.

 

** A tail-less dolphin can make me cry like a baby.

 

** Five screaming kids in a car is a migraine in the making.

 

** My auto-pilot mode seems to be broken.

 

**VH1 has completely forgotten that the word "video" is part of their name.

 

** Playdates can be both a blessing and a curse.

 

** Nucking Futs is my name, and poop is evidently my game.

 

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

 

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?  LEAVE A COMMENT & TELL ME!! >>

 

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