** Mother Nature forgot to take her meds once again.
** People who only write inspirational quotes for their Facebook status scare me.
** If you're a random piece of crap, you're probably sitting on my kitchen counter.
** Everything should be pumpkin-flavored this time of year.
** Drawing a stick figure can be a real hoot -- who knew?!
** I evidently need to remind the kids not to drink their bath water.
** The amount of garbage that's shown on daytime t.v. is truly astonishing.
** Me not dropping my iPhone is like Ozzy Osbourne not dropping the f-bomb.
** If you can't see over the steering wheel, you probably shouldn't be driving.
** A tail-less dolphin can make me cry like a baby.
** Five screaming kids in a car is a migraine in the making.
** My auto-pilot mode seems to be broken.
**VH1 has completely forgotten that the word "video" is part of their name.
** Playdates can be both a blessing and a curse.
** Nucking Futs is my name, and poop is evidently my game.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK? LEAVE A COMMENT & TELL ME!! >>