** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage.  And possibly a lobotomy.

** The past several days have been like tantric sex.  Minus the sex part.

** If I ever need a good giggle, I turn to Taylor Swift and the goat.

** Trying to get into a pair of jeans after slathering with lotion is a really bad idea.

** Some people should just not drive in the snow.  Or in any kind of weather.

** Mama needs a raise.  A big, fat, gigantic one.  (That's what she said.)

** The book is ALWAYS better than the movie.

** Girl Scouts "Tagalongs" can kiss my ass since they're the ones who are making it grow.

** A dinner date with four kids is like thumb wrestling an octopus.

** I don't care if it's the latest craze -- bangs do NOT look good on everyone!

** Apparently, there's no such thing as a "cheap flight" anymore.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

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