** I'm not sure why people are so surprised that a guy named "Weiner" likes to show off his junk.
** Goatdog drinks water like he's bobbing for apples.
** A good night's sleep is totally wasted on the young.
** I'm about to get all Tony Montana with the fruit fly situation in my house.
** It's really hard to relax in a backyard that smells like urine.
** Pigs will learn to fly before I ever remember to take in my own bags at the grocery store.
** People who only talk about themselves sound like the Charlie Brown teacher to me.
** In a battle between a bike and my legs, I'm putting my money on the bike.
** Kate Middleton looks better after giving birth than I did on my wedding day.
** Naming a blind dog Stevie Wonder is pure genius.
** I don't even remember the last time I woke up feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>