** Bras and humidity go together about as well as politicians and honesty.
** 7:30 AM is way too early for drama.
** It wouldn't surprise me in the least if my kids' heads spun around while they spit green pea soup at me.
** Spring baseball in Chicago can suck it.
** My imaginary housekeeper seems to have gone MIA.
** I'm dropping silent f-bombs in my head more often than not lately.
** Slow drivers are the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to me.
** Our backyard is FULL of random, oddball socks.
** If I were a country singer, I'd write a song called, "My Dog Is An Asshole."
** Apple slicers hurt. Like a son of a bitch.
** I swear, my husband could fall asleep in the middle of a jam-packed Chuck E. Cheese.
** Chinese food makes your mouth feel like you've been walking for days in the Sahara.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>