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** Bras and humidity go together about as well as politicians and honesty.

** 7:30 AM is way too early for drama.

** It wouldn't surprise me in the least if my kids' heads spun around while they spit green pea soup at me.

** Spring baseball in Chicago can suck it.

** My imaginary housekeeper seems to have gone MIA.

** I'm dropping silent f-bombs in my head more often than not lately.

** Slow drivers are the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to me.

** Our backyard is FULL of random, oddball socks.

** If I were a country singer, I'd write a song called, "My Dog Is An Asshole."

** Apple slicers hurt.  Like a son of a bitch.

** I swear, my husband could fall asleep in the middle of a jam-packed Chuck E. Cheese.

** Chinese food makes your mouth feel like you've been walking for days in the Sahara.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

 

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