Things I've Learned This Week (& A Gift Card Giveaway!!!!)

** Every time I try to be the early bird, my kids have already beaten me to the damn worm.

** The apple doesn't fall far from the tree since my son evidently also writes "notes to self".

** I'm a little obsessed with Thymes Frasier Fir line for the holidays.

**After living with a Movember participant for an entire month, I realize I could never have dated a 70's porn star.

** My nostrils haven't breathed properly since 2009.

** The lent trap in my dryer is hiring a hooker -- you never know what you're gonna find.

** Public poops are a given with these offspring of mine.

** The "express" lane at the grocery store is a big fat freaking lie.

** After a really LONG day, I don't know whether to wipe up or lick up wine that's spilled on the couch.

** Our Elf on the Shelf has left the building.  Seriously, I can't find the little bastard anywhere.

** Christmas would be a lot easier if I could shoot money out my butt (a la an ATM).

** Mothballs should really be called "shitballs" since that's what they smell like.

** Stress be damned; Andy Williams was right on -- it really IS the most wonderful time of the year.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW & YOU'RE AUTOMATICALLY ENTERED FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A $25 iTunes GIFT CARD!!  I'LL RANDOMLY SELECT & ANNOUNCE 2 WINNERS  NEXT WEDNESDAY (12/7). >>

 

 

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Tags: Elf, Movember, Shelf, giveaway, grocery, holidays, kids, motherhood, on, parenting, More…poop, shopping, the, wine

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Comment by Beth Horn on December 6, 2011 at 12:47pm

I learned that the more I beg and plead with my boys to just settle down and 'be good' the worse off and more hyper they get.  GRRRR

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