Last night, as I crawled into bed, I took a brief inventory of the collateral damage surrounding my bed.
I noted a significant spot of dried spit up in the middle of my side. Animal cracker crumbs trailed from end to another. And, a large pile of clothes - clean or dirty, I don't even know - heaped across the end of the bed. You know what I did? I brushed the crumbs slightly closer to the hubs' side, snuggled underneath those clothes and atop the spot, and went to sleep. Ew. Ew. Ew.
I just didn't care. There was no energy to change sheets or decipher whether those clothes were, in fact, headed to the closet or the laundry basket nor did I desire to vacuum the carpet where I suspect the cracker crumbs continue. Not even an ounce of energy to care.
Last night, I waved the flag of defeat. The children have won, and I am sleeping in spit up. I think this would be considered a low.
Recently, I feel our days more resemble snippets from war documentaries than Sesame Street episodes. A rebels and cries, and there have been few outings that have not ended with me carrying him out like a football. And, then I nag and shout and talk like a broken record to a brick wall 99 percent of the day. It's just a phase. It's just a phase.
I fear the three's might just be the end of me.
But, today, he surprised me. I took him grocery shopping with me. Something I have vowed never ever to do unless we are going to starve to death without that trip right that second. And, even then, it's a coin toss.
Things were going semi-smoothly. I had only told him to sit down in the basket 59 times and not to touch anything 112 times. Out of nowhere, a big grin creeps across his face, and he says, "You're fun, Momma. I love being with you."
What?? I actually thought I had mistakenly heard him, and asked him again what he had said. He repeated, smiling and staring up at me with his big brown eyes. I just couldn't understand. I scold. I nag. I shout. I'm constantly distracted by cleaning or laundry or errands. And, here is this child, thrilled to just be with me... or, thrilled to torment me. And, I'm fun.
He made my day. He made my week. As mothers, we are exhausted and feel unappreciated. We put everyone and everything before us. We often take the brunt of the chores, and it's hard when Dad is always the "fun" one.
But, take heart, mommas. We are fun. We are amazing. We are loved beyond measure. And, our children recognize it long before we do.
Maybe three isn't so bad.
But, let's not take our chances. If I tell him he's four, will that take care of things?