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My daughter is a little over 16 months old. Up until now, she's been pretty easy to take care of. She's listened to me when I said no and would get very concerned when I got upset with her. I haven't had to exercise many parenting skills beyond changing diapers and making sure she doesn't die. But the tide is turning, people.

In the last week or so, her reaction to me has been, in a word, horrifying. When I tell her no, she completely ignores me. When I get upset about something, she gives me a blank stare. And then maybe even laughs. What is this!? When she stands staring at my blankly while I lecture her about not touching they keyboard and mouse or attempting to launch herself off of the couch, all I see is her as a teenager giving me the exact same look.

"Oh, were you talking to me, mom?"
"Oh, are you saying you don't want me to do this?"
"I see that this blank look is enraging you. I will keep doing it."
"It seems I've forgotten every word in the english language, so I really have no idea what you're saying to me."

I have an insane toddler-teenager on my hands. Where did she learn this? She's figuring out things that should not be known to a toddler. It's scary. And a little bit funny. But mostly scary.

I see now that it's time to become a real parent. I'm sure it happens to everyone. Gone are my easy breezy baby days of only worrying about dirty diapers and what's for lunch. No longer can I get away with merely saying "no" and expecting complete obedience. I'm going to actually have to put some thought into this.

I can certainly outsmart a toddler, right? Right??

Mommy Dearest

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