Dear Roman,

I love you my sweet boy and I love your love for me.  I love that your obsessed with your mommy and hold on tight to my leg when I’m leaving you at pre-school.  I love that you need to kiss me 893 times before I go and if you miss that one spot on my cheek or my forehead, you will cry and cry until you get to it.  Today, we waved goodbye from the pre-school window and your eyes were filled with tears but I knew you were in good hands.  Your teachers work very hard at what they do and you have the privilege of reaping all the benefits!  I went to Starbucks after I dropped you off and told them I felt bad that you were there crying.  The barista told me that the tears and clingy behavior doesn’t end and continues on even in grade school.  I *kind of felt better but I sipped my coffee all morning and thought about you.  I thought about how you probably made your way to the table with all of the dump trucks and diggers and I would like to think your tears went away as soon as you saw them.  I know they are your favorites and I’m sure your teacher took them out just for you so that they would take your mind off of me for just a bit.  I’m sure you found a shovel in the sand-table too.  You like to dig and used to make your way there last year when Rocco was in that classroom.  Its yours this year; live it up baby!

When I picked you up, I knew by the stain on your t-shirt that you painted today too.  I’m sure you loved that and I smiled when I peaked through the crack of the door and saw that.  I watched you participate with your class and you were smiling; I could tell you were having fun.  Then I stepped foot in the room and you were beaming… so very happy to see me.  I told you I come back, didn’t I?  I always come back!  You hugged and kissed me and held on tight.  You stared at my face for a minute too.  I think you were confirming that it was me but when you told me you don’t like my hair in a pony tail, I realized you were staring at that and wished that you could see my “long princess hair”.  “Its still there.” I whispered.  “Its in a pony-tail right now.”  We said good-bye to your teachers then high-fived each other when we walked to pick up Rocco.  You made it through your 2 hour a week pre-school class and I’m proud of you!  You know it.  You love to be like your big brother and made sure to tell him that you stopped crying as soon as you reunited upstairs.  He wrapped his arm around your neck.  He’s proud of you too!

~~~

Dear Rocco,

I love you, my big boy and love the silly ways that you show your love for me.  I love that you show off for me when I come into your territory.  I’m not sure why you think it makes me proud that you splash water in the sink and up onto the walls during ‘hand-washing time’ but I realize that your showing me your classroom bathroom and your just excited about it.  Sometimes I can distract you by talking about random nonsense and other times you find ways to distract me.  I love that after you wash your hands, you take my hand and walk me over to your name tag every morning to show me that you can (still) match your name with your picture.  And though I won’t tell you this, I secretly love that you sometimes put your name with the wrong face just to get my attention.  I look at you in your eyes and you look back with those big brown beauties and then your reassured that I’m watching.  You try again and get it right; we both smile.  We don’t talk about this on-going game but you and I both know that its becoming our little ‘thing’.  You aren’t clingy anymore when its time for me to leave but I love that you still jump up and down in excitement when I pick you up.  Sometimes you’re so excited to see me that you forget to say goodbye to your teachers.  That makes me smile inside and out because I’m always excited to see you!

My most favorite thing to do is secretly watch you play outside.  You are such a sweet friend and kind little boy who plays very well with others.  I’m so proud of you and who you are becoming.  I watch you give turns and share with others and I love to see you running with all of the boys and girls.  You aren’t bossy or mean.  You aren’t rough and tough.  You’re perfect in my eyes.  Sometimes I wish you would find your voice when others are bossy and mean, but you avoid conflict and that can be a good trait.  You remind me of your daddy in that way and it’s something I’ve always loved about him.  I love when you have stories to tell me over lunch and most of all when you use your hands and facial expressions to tell them.  You are a very fun little boy and smart too and you sure know how to use words that melt my heart.  I love when you finish your stories by telling me that you missed me and that you love me.  I feel the same way… and more!

My Sweet Boys,

I love to watch you grow.

xo

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Tags: motherhood, parenting, pregnancy

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