Original Posting at NewlyParents.com here
As I was cleaning the house today to prepare for some visitors I had a disturbing glimpse into my future while cleaning the bathroom. In just a few months I will be outnumbered in my house. It will be me, my husband and our son.
I've often heard from my friends with boys that there is pee everywhere in the bathroom. They even go as far as to say that it's not just the boys that pee everywhere, it's also their husband. I've always bragged about my husband (and what a weird thing to brag about), that he never misses the toilet. One day I was telling my husband about the conversation I had with my friends and I had told them what a great aim he is. My husband, an honest man who cannot take credit for anything that he is not deserving of, looked at me and said, "What do you mean? I miss the toilet all the time."
He has tried to explain the concept of peeing to me by comparing it to a squirt gun.
"Say you have a squirt gun and you aim at a target. When you squeeze the trigger you know that water is going to come out and you have aimed in the general direction of your target but sometimes you don't hit the target on the first shot. Maybe you didn't squeeze the trigger hard enough. Maybe there was a air bubble in the line. Whatever the reason, you missed and you have to shoot again. Peeing is like that. You aim your "gun" in the general direction of the target (the toilet) but you're not quite sure EXACTLY where it's going to go, you just have a idea and most of the time you are spot on. Maybe you really had to go and it comes out with more force than you anticipated so it shoots over the edge of the toilet. You have to re-aim but by then the damage is already done, the pee is on the floor and all over the toilet. Maybe it's cold and you don't have quite the "handle on things" you normally do..
The story goes on and he surprisingly has quite the analogy on why boys miss the toilet. Long story short, it seems that even when boys grow up they still miss the toilet.
"Peeing is not an exact science. It's a close estimation
." he says.
As I was cleaning the bathroom today I realized the he is right. The toilet was gross. In just a couple of years I will have not one, but two boys peeing all over the bathrooms in the house. In order to combat this I have come up with a several ideas:
Designating one bathroom as the boys only bathroom and I will never step foot in it. Ever.
Plant more trees in the yard. More trees = more things to pee on outside.
Installing kiddie pool sized toilets in each bathroom. Surely they can't miss a toilet that big.
Institute a "No Standing While Peeing" policy for the entire house.
It's not the potty training I'm worried about. I can teach them how to get to the bathroom when they know they have to go. It's aiming issue.
Before I become outnumbered in my own household, how do you deal with your boys (husbands included) and how they destroy the bathrooms?