It's nearly 11 PM and I have course can't sleep. At 2:05 AM it will officially be a year since my sweet little Mason man was born. Wow. A whole year has gone by. Some days it seems like he was born last week, most days though it seems like we have had him forever. It's amazing how you forget what life was like before this miniature human entered your world. I honestly was so excited about him turning one. I am not a baby person, more into the walking, talking, slightly more independent years. Now, I am a sobbing mess. I have looked at pictures all day (in between baking 157 mini cupcakes). I am proud of myself for being the mom that I am even though I feel psychotic inside. He rarely sees that side of me, and what he does see is minimal. So I am taking a much deserved second to pat myself on the back.
|Mason...9/1/11 @ 2:05 AM|
In other news. This birthday party is well...a bitch. I have spent countless hours, days and months planning it. I hope it all turns out the way I am envisioning it too. Like I said in prior posts, if not I will cry. Which isn't too far of a stretch since I am a big baby like that.
I'm also peeved by the fact my dear friend, one time inseparable best friend Lu whom I met at 3rd grade moving up day (fourth and fifth grades went to a different school, yeah it's weird)texted me tonight to tell me she will be moving several states away to Alabama to go live with her parents who left NY when we were 17. I am devastated. We have become really close again after losing two childhood friends whom I spoke of in a separate post. I will give you a back story on me and Lulu. We have a wonderful past. As earlier stated, we met when my school would be joining a school in the next town over for fourth and fifth grades. Her 3rd grade class had to pick a "buddy" to show them around the school. I of course was a complete tomboy in my overalls and plaid button up shirt and hair that my dad styled into a slick-backed 'do sprayed with Aquanet. Yeah, not a pretty scene. So naturally I was not picked first to be someones "buddy." So me and one more person were left. Lu looked at me with her flared jeans, flowered top and pigtails and said "well I guess I pick you" with an attitude like whoa! So I was so excited cause I had never met anyone like her with her southern accent and all. She wasn't much of a tour guide but was sure to point out the "boys bathroom" which was sweet...not. Then toward the end of our tour, she looked at me and said "cool nail polish." Mind you, it was the most hideous shade of lime green one could own. Ever since then, we were friends. I will never forget that day. We spent every second we could together. She taught me how to shave my legs, she died my hair for the first time (at 11 and it came out pinkish orange), smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, we hunted for the Blair Witch whom we were certain lived in my parents woods, caught frogs with, played soccer with, had McDonald's pie eating contests after every soccer game with, brought my homework home when I was out sick from school, dressed in old lady outfits (a little to often) and became "Marge & Midge," cried together every time we watched Beaches and and Now and Then, bought me every Ja Rule CD when I went through an adolescent obsession, she plucked my eyebrows cause I was to scared, told all my secrets to, ate Klondike bars on my grandma's porch... with my grandma, road a CAMEL with, snowboarded together, broke a lot of laws together, got into fist fights with each other only to make up minutes later, got in fist fights with other people sticking up for each other, had spice girl dance parties with ...gosh the list goes on and on. You get the point. We had been inseparable for 12 years. Then she got married a month before I did to a guy that I had despised for a lot of years. I never liked him and never thought he would amount to a thing (he has proved me right so far). We grew apart. We went from living together (literally) to talking a handful of times a year. Maybe it had something to do with me telling her she shouldn't marry this guy...on her wedding day, oops.. But when we did talk things never seemed to change, we reverted right back to Kaiti and Lulu. Over the past couple of months we have been talking several times a week and truly have returned to a good place. I am so torn up about her moving. I do think it is for the best and life must go on, but it is still heartbreaking.
Alright, gonna try to hit the hay. A looooonnnng day tomorrow for this lil' fam!