I'm annoyed with Valentines day. It just is too dramatic for my liking. The worst part is that it's dramatic in multiple ways. Whether a person expects a thoughtful gift and high level romance or the HATE VALENTINES DAY, IT'S A HALLMARK HOLIDAY.. blah blah person.. Or that you are single 364 days out the year. Yet if on Valentines day you don't have a date, it's some how the worst thing ever?
If you are only affectionate or thoughtful to your spouse 3 days a year. (Valentine's Christmas and their birthday.) Do me a favor, take your hand and then slap it against your face. I mean I hate to tell you how to live your life, but seriously, being thoughtful doesn't even take much effort. If you still choose to only give romantic gestures on those 3 days, well, you are probably chillin' in the 50% of people who will get divorced.
Why you ask?
Because in relationships that last, you have to choose each other every day. If you choose to share your life with somebody, you should be a benefit to their life. You should make their days better. Or else, what are you even doing there? You can't be bringing down the team. Everyone's gotta come to play.
In the spirit of this LOVEFEST DAY, I figured I'd help every one out with a little Valentine's Day advice. (Cough husbands Cough).
VALENTINE'S DAY ADVICE:
BE AN ACTIVE LISTENER.
Shut your mouth for one minute. Stop thinking about what you want to say next. Just listen. Ask questions that continue the conversation on. Don't respond with only one word answers. Give feedback.
THOUGHTFULNESS doesn't always have to be expensive.
If you pay attention to times you have seen your spouse really happy, you could probably figure out something without having to break the bank. I know a dude who made his wife a mixed tape (well, on a CD) of all songs that reminded him of her for Valentine's. I love that. Who doesn't have vivid song memories about their relationship? If you don't know what to do, you can literally google "nice crap to do for my wife..."
GET A CARD.
Doesn't have to be special. Actually, make a card. The idea that CVS sells cards for like 5.99 makes me want to barf. WRITE IN THE CARD. Ladies love that shit. "Happy Valentine's Day. I don't know what I'd do with out. You are awesome sauce." IN fact, have your child MAKE THE CARD. You write, they color. They draw a picture of your family. Use their cuteness to your advantage. It would take 10 minutes of your life.
"Uhh why would I have to write her a note? She knows I love her."
Ya, but it's still really nice to hear it. It's what keeps people going. Positive reinfocement from loved ones is what makes the world go round.
Josh made me a card while all four of us were coloring on this Saturday night eve of Valentine's day. And guess what? As far as I'm concerned, he nailed it. I laughed and smiled and kinda wanted to marry him again.
AFFECTION IS POWERFUL
The power of touch from the people you love will heal your deepest wounds. Think about what hugging is? Intimacy 101. As human beings, we can literally make each other feel better by hugging each other.
Touch your her lower back as she walks through a door. Put your arm around them when you are walking in a parking lot at night. Put your hand on their thigh while your driving. It's all gold.
You need to both tell someone you love them and SHOW someone you love them. Show them for one night that they are the center of your attention. In a busy busy world of parenting, careers, and general life nonsense, you can be moving so fast that you forget to stop and access what attention you give to your partner.
This goes for anyone you love.
LAUGHING IS FUN
If you think going out for Valentine's day is a bore. PLAN SOMETHING BETTER. You should be having fun with your # 1 homie.
People need to relax with Valentine's day. Get the card. Be a gentleman. Bake some shit if that makes you happy. Wear a red sweater. Stop complaining.
Or don't do any of those things!
It's always your choice. Then your small choices, like what you do to be thoughtful to your spouse, make a ripple effect throughout the course of your life.