WARNING: Blush Alert..
The following may make you blush. I will admit that this probably is not something I would have written without having been provoked. However, when author or the book, "Churched", Matthew Paul Turner, requested articles from Christians about teaching your children about sex, to promote his new book, "What You Didn't Learn From Your Parents About Sex". I couldn't resist an attempt to ride his coat tails into the land of post modern literature. Now that it's written, I do think it's something that needs to be said. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
So, without further adew, here you go: And thanks, to my mom and dad for the inspiration for the following article. Sorry I exploited your sex life for my fifteen minutes of fame ;).
TEACHING KIDS A HEALTHY PERSPECTIVE ABOUT SEX
by Dana Ellis
After a long day of playing outside with my then three-year-old, and fervently re-applying sunscreen to her delicate skin, I was sporting a nice little sunburn of my own. As I was standing their in all of my naked glory, while my husband applied one of God’s miracles, aloe vera gel, Emma pranced into the room. With worry in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Don’t let daddy see your bottom”!! Since she was getting older, we had began to try to break her, much loved, streaking habit by trying to teach her the importance of modesty. No wonder, she was confused about my lack of modesty in front of someone not on the list of acceptable people to see your bottom: IE: doctor, daddy, etc..
My husband and I looked at each other with a look that said, “Wow, what do we do with this one” while at the same time, trying to hold in a little snicker at the thought of “being caught.” In the hastiness of trying to make a decision on having to deal with the issue at hand, I looked down at her and laughingly said, “It’s okay for dad to see my bottom. He’s my husband. One day, you’ll be married and your husband will like seeing your bottom too”. Because of the look of surprise from my husband, maybe even shock, I could no longer hold my laughter. And though both my daughter and my husband stood there looking at me like my hair was on fire instead of my skin, I felt sure that I had said the right thing.
After ten years in ministry, I have seen many, many Christian women that struggle in their sexual relationships with their husbands. At first, this phenomenon took me by surprise. A lot of the women that I have spoken to about this issue followed all the rules, saving themselves for their husbands. Therefore, I was shocked that with them having “following all the rules”, they didn’t have the most amazing sex life possible.
But, after having some time to analyze this situation, I came to believe that after years and years being told , “sex is bad, sex is bad”, many women, maybe men too, are unable to make the jump to, “oh, you’re getting married? Sex is GOOD”..
Though I can’t express the number of times I rolled my eyes in disgust at my parents as a teenager, I am so thankful for the display of affection that they displayed on a regular basis. Though it was not inappropriate in any way, I was very aware that they were intimate and it wasn’t just my dad that enjoyed it but my mom as well. I have thanked God many times since I’ve been married for the healthy view of sex that He gave me through witnessing my parent’s relationship.
I don’t believe that “sexual purity” is a bad thing to want for our children. But, I do believe that this goal alone is anemic. I pray that my husband and I, like my parents did me, teach our girls that sex is a wonderful, gift that God gives to married people. Teaching them will, no doubt, include the fact that sexual impurity cheapens that gift, leaving it less than the blessing that God designed. But our prayer for our girls, is not only, that they remain “sexually pure” but, that my husband and I will display marriage in the way that God intended it to be. And, that they will in turn, live a lifestyle that will help them to fully embrace the blessings that God desires so badly to give them.
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