Mama’s my hubby and I often do a check in just to make sure we are meeting each other’s needs in our marriage. Sometimes this is a pleasant and fun activity and other times it is not. When I ask my hubby to list things he likes me to do or needs from me the conversations goes a bit like this:
#1- APPRECIATED-He needs to feel appreciated and wanted by me. He wants me to be his biggest fan and to show him my support. It also doesn’t hurt to let him know he smells good and how UBER sexy I think he is. Sometimes we think that men don’t need to be complemented, but they actually love it especially when it comes from their wife. If you don’t do it someone else will, and you don’t want the complements he receives to always come from outside women do you?
#2-FRIEND-He needs me to be his friend and have his back. Your husband wants to be able to talk to you about anything, but most men don’t feel that they can. Create an atmosphere in your marriage where your husband can come to you with anything under the sun and he knows that even if it’s bad news you guys can talk through it and find a resolution. Your husband doesn’t want you to be one of the guys, but he wants you to try and enjoy things like sports and being adventurous. Thankfully I love sports and I am working on being adventurous (pray for me ‘cause I’m a scaredy cat!).
#3-TURN HEADS! Most men will never say this to their wife, but he wants you to remember what you did to get him and try your best to stay sexy. Of course I love a great pair of trouser jeans and flats, I am a Mama of 4, but my babe wants me to try and keep my sexy up. I can dig that since men are visual beings. If you know there are certain clothes, shoes etc. that your babe finds attractive then try to make sure you incorporate those items in your wardrobe on a regular basis. Give him something to look forward to coming home to. Every man wants a woman that other men find attractive too. I know someone may be reading this thinking they can’t turn head because of their size, weight, etc. please notice that I never mentioned any of that because none of that matters. Sexy comes from how you feel about you. So turn your sexy up!
#4-SEX GODDESS-Men need sex, like they need air, water and food. You meet that need for him as his wife. As Mama’s sometimes sex is not in the forefront of our mind and we can go longer periods without sex. Listen to me real good Mama’s; your hubby wants you to be a “Sex Goddess”. He understands that we are Mama’s, but we were wives first. Your husband really, really likes to have sex with you. Make time for it. I challenge you to turn on your inner “Sex Goddess” for 5 days in a row and see how your marriage will get an extra boost. DISCLAIMER: Don’t blame me if you create little bundles of joy because you turned on your inner “Sex Goddess”.
#5-STOP NAGGING- I used to be a big nagger, and my hubby hated it and I knew it but I felt like if I aggravated him enough then I would get what I wanted. Let’s just say I have abandoned that idea and now if I need him to do something I will just have a talk, nothing too long or fancy, no fluff, just real talk with details. This keeps both of us from getting aggravated with each other.
#6-MAKE YOUR HOUSE A HOME-Your house doesn’t have to be perfect, but you want to make sure that it is clean and things are tidy. Your house should be a place where your family enjoys spending time and making memories, not a place they dread. Your husband should be able to come home and when he steps into the house all his worries and cares subside.
#7-ATTITUDE MEANS A LOT-Everyday will not be your best day, but it is still important to try and stay positive and keep a good attitude. Complaining can get old after a while and brings down those around you. It may make the difference between your husband going by the sports bar for drinks before he comes home or him eagerly trying to get home because he knows that on the other side of the door is his adoring wife who makes everything alright.
I am not saying that these seven things are what your hubby needs, but I do think they will come pretty close. You can always ask your husband and see what he wants and needs. This is a great opportunity for both of you to explore each other’s needs and wants while reconnecting. I hope this helps you in some way to improve your connection with your husband and make things in your marriage and household flow a bit better. Happy Monday Mama’s!