Originally posted on Ramblings of a Fab Brunette

In the past couple of months, I've discovered quite a few things about myself, surprisingly, many of these things I already knew, but they have just resurfaced after what seems like forever.

Funny thing is, I was watching an episode of What Not to Wear on TV, not sure if it was new or old, but it dealt with a gorgeous girl from Jersey, a new mom of a 4 month old, who has lost herself. She was once this fashionista that everyone admired, and she's turned into a sweatpants wearing mom who has no clue how to get dressed anymore. She said something that struck a cord with me: "Here I am in NYC, with $5k to spend in any store I want, and I have no idea what to buy, I can't see myself in anything but black pants." The episode really touched me. I know, I know, stop watching daytime television...

But I think that episode exemplified what many moms go through after having a baby, even years later, always trying to remember who you were 'pre-mom', that fun, carefree girl, the style maven who wore 4" heels everyday, who could sleep in 'til noon, and could put together sexy outfits, with big hair and big makeup, and feel hot.

It's not that I miss that girl too much, I know I've begun to embrace my inner beauty, a more natural look, I can still dress stylish, I probably miss sleeping in until noon but I'm not sure since I haven't done it for like three years. What I do miss is WHO I was... obsessed with music, dj-ing, loved being creative, lots of graphic design, party ideas.... I always fell behind the excuse that it's HARD to do all those things with a baby. It is hard, I see some moms who do it, have an amazing business all with a baby on their hip, but more so, mothers either work or stay at home, deal with baby things and just carry on, keep on doing what they can, and you slowly slip away from 'that girl'.


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