When it comes to falling asleep, I am definitely not one of those people that can lay their head down on a pillow and head right into dreamland. Instead, I first have to find the perfect position. This means first laying on my tummy, then moving my head from side to side, figuring out a way in which my neck and arms are still comfy. I finally give up lying on my stomach, and then fling myself over on one side. I may bother J at this point, ask him if he's awake, he'll grunt and won't move, assuring me that he's asleep (ie. don't bother J at this point).
I'll then roll on to my other side. Now sometimes, there are these little perfect nights where J knows I can't sleep and he'll snuggle me and I'll fall asleep quickly. Well, last night was not one of those nights. Last night I finally got comfortable on my back, one hand behind my head, the other resting on my belly, and I finally felt relaxed. But probably 20 minutes later, of still not sleeping, I resigned myself to sleeping on my right side, cuddling a pillow, and praying for sleep. And it finally came. This morning, I realised why I could not sleep last night.
I have to make a decision. And I don't know what to do. *
Last week I got a job offer. It's a job that would allow me to still plan weddings, as well as get into more corporate events and learn about some catering aspects as well, it sounds so perfect! It pays well, it's a nine to five job, and it starts in two weeks. It sounds exciting, it's three people from different backgrounds with different companies starting a new events company, and I would be the sole wedding planner. It pays hourly plus commission, on contract agreements I would be making with clients.
The only 'problems' are these (which really aren't problems, just things that are of concern, sort of):
1. I would need to get a car to get there. It would most likely be a cheap little beater to get me back and forth. Plus the cost of gas. It's approximately a 20 minute ride by highway, and no public transportation gets me directly there - it would take subways, buses and walking to get there.
2. Princess would need to be put in daycare. There is a daycare facility in the building I would be working, with web cams and all, and it costs $1005/month, which is the average of full-time daycare with meals included.
3. I would still be doing my cupcake company, but I would obviously not have as much time to focus on it.
4. I want to pay the mortgage with this job.
When adding up the equations, after figuring out how much I'd be making per month (before commission, because, let's face it, at first I won't be making much commission, and after I have no idea how much I'd be making, so I'd rather not assume), take away the obligatory daycare fee, take away the mortgage, I'm left with nothing. Zip, zero, nada. And this is all BEFORE taxes.
So basically, I'd be working to pay daycare and mortgage, and that's all I'd have. It wouldn't even pay for the gas to get back and forth to work. Which isn't a huge issue, but whatevs.
Now, picture this scenario:
On a busy street in a great neighborhood, I own a cupcake shop. I'd open at 11 every morning, closing between 6 and 8 most nights. Princess would help me out in the shop until she goes to school next year. I'd have a little area for kids to hang out in, a place to colour, with some toys to play. I'd have an area where I could sell cupcake paraphernalia, note cards, knitted hats, baby wear, jewelry and soaps!
My menu would consist of amazing cupcakes, from the general vanilla and chocolate, to margarita cupcakes, Bailey's chocolate mint cupcakes, vanilla chai cupcakes and assorted filled cupcakes. Mini cupcakes, tons of them! A gorgeous display, a small seating area at a bar. I would serve cappuccinos, espressos, and adorable little soda pops, iced teas and lemonades. And everything in the place would be blue and white. My logo would be on the glass door when you first walk in. And it would be gorgeous. My own little place.
J keeps putting this idea in my head, but I'm just nervous. I'm worried. How do you make money? How are you guaranteed to make money? It would take a lot of marketing, which I'm not too worried about, but at the same time, is my product good enough? How can I guarantee special orders? Can I even do this all by myself?
It's all these worries that I'm hemming and hawing about. We'd have to put out a bunch of money to start it. All the right equipment, lease fees, and decorating/renovating whatever place we're looking at. I would need a display case, fridges, ovens, and assorted things. I wouldn't need a vehicle since I definitely want the shop to be in a location on either a streetcar or subway line. I have a vehicle for deliveries, so that wouldn't be an issue. And Princess wouldn't be in daycare. I worry about this at times, but I've convinced myself that it would be fun, and that she'd still be going to local dance classes anyway so she'd still be interacting with children and having fun.
So this is the issue: Do I start a job that's a sure thing, doing something I love and getting paid for it - or do I continue with my new business, open up a storefront, doing something I love, and hope to get paid for it?
A sure thing or a not so sure thing? That is the question, my dears.
So what should I do? Should I jump in and go for it? As much as I'm worried about it, I also love being my own boss and doing my own thing. I'm going to think about it long and hard this week. I know where J stands. Where do you guys stand?
*I also realised I ate pizza and three two-bite brownies right before bed, so I'm sure the combination of food and chocolate didn't help in the sleeping process either. But shh, don't tell that to people who are waiting for me to 'eat healthy' and lose weight. Because my goals for the month of August are a no go. HA. More on that later!...
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