Do you ever feel, that as the centrifugal force of the house, that mommy’s mood sets the tone for the the whole family? This Blog post came to me a couple of weeks ago, when my girlfriend said, “Can you Blog
about how when we are not good, the rest of our family never feels good?
And how we can pull ourselves out of these slumps?”

So really, what happens if mom’s not happy?

Now, if you have a family of 4 plus people, chances are there are constantly multiple things going on at once… different opinions, different ideas and different hormones levels too! And chances are
again, these many factors vary throughout your week. For example,
sometimes my household is happy, and we’re grooving to Kool & The
Gang and (shhhh) Justin Bieber in the kitchen, and other times mommy’s
ranting about unfinished homework, laziness around helping out, too much
Wii and television, or disrespectful words. Sometimes we’re laughing,
sometimes we’re tense. But one thing I know for sure… when I’m on edge,
EVERYONE IS ON EDGE.

And see, this is where I sit on the fence… am I to fake it, and fake happiness when I’m tired or stressed for the sake of peace and harmony, or should I be my honest self, my true self, show my kids that life
isn’t always flowery, and bring everyone down with me? Cuz really, I
would LOVE your opinion on this issue. My ass in on the fence. I always
wrestle between protecting them, and giving them the truth. My heart
says truth, but with a grain of salt, yes?

And lately, I’ve been totally overloaded and feel like I’m losing my mojo. My nanny is gone for 6 weeks. She has been with us for five years and has gone home to pack up her family up, and move them to Montreal. I
couldn’t be happier for her. Now please, let’s get over the nanny
thing… I ran a business for almost 10 years and needed help at home.
We’ve kept her on with us since I sold my business, cuz she’s an extra
set of hands, helps me, and is like part of our family. So with her
gone, and a temp working scarce hours while I’m working, and with
carpool, hockey 5 days a week between 2 kids, laundry, cleaning,
blogging, book launch and tons of interviews, writing, proposals,
massive pitches, opportunities to carefully examine, mentoring other
entrepreneurs, volunteer work, being on the board of my son’s school,
fundraisers, and a hubby who works long hours, I feel over my limit. I’m
not kvetching, I’m merely stating that this mommy’s a mess. And when
mommy’s a mess, and short tempered with her family, no one is good.

So it’s been a few weeks like this, and nerves are high. I am however, making more of an effort to CALM DOWN. Sometimes I even go into the bathroom and literally BREATH, alone, and then try and come out
like Carol Brady. :)
But seriously, when the kids are all over me, or misbehaving and I
feel like I could lose it, I go into the bathroom. For only 2 minutes.
For me, it works, don’t ask me why. I usually come out with my negative
aura refreshed. I think when we sign up for mommyhood, we realize, but
we don’t TRULY realize how our actions are so DEEPLY effecting the lives
of the little people we brought into this world. And it’s a huge
responsibility and undertaking to “do it right.” But I think we all owe
it to our children, to do it right.

My son has been chewing his sleeve, for one. I know this is my wake up call to chill the fuck out, and calm the hell down. My Wizard of Oz tornado is blowing way too strong around here, and I need to squash the
frenetic pace. I want my kids to see the normal, good role model I have
been all these years. Not this new mother who can’t seem to handle the
stress. Do you ever feel like this?

I think we all have experienced this to one degree or another, at one time in our life. But I will tell you something I DO KNOW. Emotions are contagious. If you’re feeling irritable or tense, your children WILL
pick up on it. Fact. They will react, and chances are, react to a
magnified version of it. So, if we’re happy, that mood rubs off. They’re
kids, remember. They’re sponges. And if we’re tense, they’ll retain
that too. So I decided this morning, I’m gonna try and go back to the
old me. I read a quote this morning on Twitter, and I LOVE it. “Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” Henry D. Thoreau.
I decided that someone I love could be sick with cancer, or something
way worse, so it’s time to appreciate what I have, get happy, and be a
positive role model to my children again. To sum it up: Get a life.

A few things to take note of if you’ve been feeling this way:

  1. Setting examples. Remember, your children will model your behavior. And you’re the example. So, always watch how you act around your children. It will rub off. If you’re always trying to
    teach your kids how to handle their anger and other emotions, model that
    behavior. If we act frustrated or angry, they will think it’s okay to
    do so too. Remember the old saying… ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
  2. Pressure to be supermom. Whether you’re a stay at home mom, a part-time working mom, or full time career mom, society has made us believe that we should always be Miss Susie Sunshine, and
    therefore put on a facade for the world. I for one, wear my heart on my
    sleeve, so that has never been my way. But, many of us feel, we should
    be perfect, our kids should always be well behaved, get good grades, be
    athletic, smart, the works. When we set ourselves up too high, we leave
    way too much room to fall down. I think having realistic expectations
    sets us up for success rather than failure.
  3. Self Care. I have to say, in general, I’m pretty good with this. We are so busy taking care of everyone else, we often neglect our own needs, right? What’s self care to you? For me, right
    about now, self care would be for the grandparents to take me kids and
    let my hubby and I have a date night. It’s been one month with one night
    out together (from 6-8pm) and no alone time. For me self care today
    would be skipping the whole nighttime routine, NOT putting my kids to
    bed, NOT giving them a bath, NOT brushing their teeth, and having
    someone else do that, and me stroll over to the bookstore, and then
    dinner and wine with my hubby. Self care could mean the gym, a massage, a
    manicure, a coffee with a girlfriend, WHATEVER. It can also mean
    finding a hobby you like, and re-discovering it. Self care is vital to
    our existence.

So today, I will practice what I preach. This Blog post has been therapeutic for me, believe it or not. Mamma’s gonna try and get happy again. Set a good tone for the house. Chillax, and be
appreciative of all the blessings. I think life will always throw curve
balls our way, but it’s up to us how we react. It’s our choice.

xoxEDxox

www.WomenOnTheFence.com

What do you think? Do you agree with me?

And the ‘On the fence” question: Do we fake it at home for harmony and bottle our feelings, or do we let the animal out of the cage for the purpose of truth, honesty and integrity. I’m on the fence.

Views: 7

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