ADVERTISEMENT

The most awkward question a person can ask me is a simple, common question you ask someone you don’t know. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” This can put the person I just met in an uncomfortable position because I have to say “yes, but he died toward the end of my 6th grade year, he had cerebral palsy.” It would feel disrespectful to not acknowledge that I had a brother, so even though it appears to many that I grew up like an only child- I didn’t.

He lived to be 14.

He couldn’t walk or talk. He had a feeding tube. He wasn’t supposed to live 3 days and he lived years beyond what was thought possible.

He had to wear diapers. Sometimes he would bite his fingers or accidently yank out his feeding tube because he didn’t have control over his reflexes. He could smile, laugh and cry and communicated joy and sadness in his eyes.

I will admit sometimes I have just answered, "I don’t", in an attempt not to create an awkward moment with someone I'm not going to see again.

Then a question will come up about my parents and I again create an uncomfortable moment by sharing that my mom died of breast cancer in 2004. The person immediately feels horrible for asking what should have been a lighthearted question and I again feel like “Debbie Downer” from SNL.

My mom detected her breast cancer late, partly out of her despising going to the doctors after years of trips to the hospital with my brother. Pneumonia was a common sickness for my brother and ultimately ended up taking his life.

My mom was not supposed to live until our wedding day but ended up dancing the night away at our reception.

She had two more relapses of cancer, a tumor on her spine the size of a golf ball and later cancer in her bones in her arm. She prayed that she would live to see her grandkids. She got to meet one of them. He was two years old when she died.

So how has this shaped me? I have experienced death at a young age and all the challenges of my younger years revolving around a special needs child, as they should have. My parents did the best they could to try to balance attention and trying to do things "normal families" do.

In my late twenties, I lost my mom; the person whose advice I now ironically was willing to receive, along with cooking instructions and all things domesticated that I had NO DESIRE to learn growing up.

When you loose someone you love, you grieve not only the person but also all of the moments in life that you will not get to experience with them.

I

 Read more at www.adventuremomblog.com

Views: 421

Comment

You need to be a member of Mom Bloggers Club to add comments!

Join Mom Bloggers Club

Our newest members. Join us + 23,000 fellow mom bloggers

ADVERTISEMENT

MBC CUTIES

Our current cutie was uploaded by Stephanie WentworthUpload a photo of your cutie. They may be featured here. See all of the cuties.

Our Latest Food, Travel & Lifestyle Posts

Has Blogging Become One Big Chore?

Have you ever looked at your blog’s dashboard and whimpered to yourself, “Oh, I just cannot in any way, shape, or form write a blog post today?”

We have all been there, right? Or, is it just me?

After eight years of blogging I have whimpered that more times than I…

How to Get Your Kids to the Dentist Without Tears, Tantrums or Throwing

Growing up, you might remember a time in your life when the only thing scarier than the boogeyman was your dentist. Over the years, you grew to appreciate your dentist and his or her service to your dental health, however, it did take you some time to grow into that mentality. Give your kids a…

ADVERTISE

© 2016   Created by Mom Bloggers Club.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service