Written by a surrogate (NOT ME):
For those of you wondering if the money is good.
In the last year of cycling I have:
given myself over 100 shots in my stomach
had DH give me around 100 shots in my butt
had a reaction to the PIO resulting in huge, red, itchy yet painful welts on both sides of my butt
been through menopause 4 times
been on the birth control pill 4 times
gained 23 pounds
bought 4 sets of wardrobes to accommodate my changing weight
had 2 pints of blood drawn
driven hundreds of miles to the clinic 20 times
driven to the lab no less than 30 times
got a $300 speeding ticket on the way home from the clinic
been an unstable, emotional wreck, resulting in countless arguments with my husband
been unable to have sex for about 4 of those 12 months
been unable to lift my baby for 3 of those 12 months
been pissy with my kids
been unmotivated to get out of bed from med side effects
been asked “why would you WANT to get fat again??”
been asked “so do you work, well, besides this”, by a midwife
had no less than 4 people poking around my hoo-ha no less than 20 times
been pregnant twice
had crappy morning sickness
been constipated as hell from the treatment for the morning sickness
endured the most helpless and humiliating experience ever when I had a miscarriage. Standing above your toilet begging out loud for a baby not to come out of your body and sitting there surrounded by a pool of blood sobbing as you flush your IPs dreams down the toilet while your own kids are outside banging on the bathroom door is an experience I would hope no one has to ever experience.
witnessed as my IPs looked at a blank u/s screen while the RE told them my uterus was empty
Trust me when I tell you, there are better ways to make a living. $100,000 wouldn’t make this a financially wise decision to do and I assure you, I get WAY less than that.
That said, there are so many more non-financial rewards to doing this.
Watching from the outside as a couple becomes a family.
Getting to witness a first time father amazed that something the size of a grain of rice has a heartbeat.
To share the most intimate experience a couple can share together is amazing honor.
I have the honor of calling two special individuals my friends.
Someone asked me if it would be hard to “just hand over the baby” when it’s born. I’m not handing over a baby, I’m giving them their baby BACK. They have trusted me to carry their child for them, but this baby was never mine. It was never intended to be mine. It is part of THEIR dreams, not mine. My family is done and I am simply helping them create theirs. It will be the most amazing moment when I can give them back their baby to hold and love for a lifetime.
The rewards to surrogacy are tremendous, but they are not at all financial in nature.
Written by ME:
So I hope that answers some of your questions. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I love surrogacy——so much that I had to lose my job for it——but in the end I am so much prouder to say that I helped create something, a life, for someone who was unable to. I would rather have that on my resume any day than 20 years of service for a company that can’t understand that surrogacy isn’t just about money. And I hope that after reading this....you understand that ITS NOT ABOUT MONEY. Its not about being “the spotlight”.
Not many people know what it takes to be a surrogate...too many people assume that they know. Not many people realize how hard things can get....too many people assume that they understand. Not many people realize that we don’t really “make” that much money....too many people assume we make hundreds of thousands because of it.
So please, please let me say it one more time———-Surrogacy rocks! I love it. And I am willing to put my body through hell for someone else to gain what I already am. Motherhood. To me...nothing is more important than my family. Watching others suffer through tragedy because they get hurt by people who “assume” they know what its like to be a surrogate. Nobody deserves that treatment.