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It's the Middle of the Night and the Baby Cries...

so WHO gets up?

This has been a constant struggle in my household with both kids.

I think, regardless of whether you're a SAHM or not, it should be a 50/50 share by trading off each night, etc. This rarely happens though!

What do you think?

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Permalink Reply by Rae Ann on October 27, 2008 at 12:20am

In some ways our house is microcosm of the 1950's. It would never occur to my husband to get up when the kids cry in the night. This is partially my fault - stay at home mom guilt. On the other hand, he works crazy cop hours, so sleep is somewhat harder for him to come by. I am just greatful that both kids are sleeping throught the night!

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Permalink Reply by Julie Estrella on October 27, 2008 at 5:16am

I agree. My husband actually does a good job with his share. I think he understands that I get up to nurse our 3 month old, so when our toddler wakes up, he is usually the one to go and check in on her.

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Permalink Reply by Lee of MWOB on October 29, 2008 at 5:54pm

hey mom spark, I'm super new to blog world and you've requested to be my blog friend which I'm not sure what that means but here I am at your discussion cuz it's interesting. In my world my man works hard to let me be a SAHM so that means he gets to sleep through the night. Night duty is all mine and it makes for one happy man. And a happy man makes for a happy woman...whaddya think?

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Permalink Reply by Amy {Mom Spark} on October 29, 2008 at 6:10pm

Hmmm, yes and no. Being a SAHM is WORK too. Us moms need sleep to take care of our children properly during the day!

Lee Vandeman said:

hey mom spark, I'm super new to blog world and you've requested to be my blog friend which I'm not sure what that means but here I am at your discussion cuz it's interesting. In my world my man works hard to let me be a SAHM so that means he gets to sleep through the night. Night duty is all mine and it makes for one happy man. And a happy man makes for a happy woman...whaddya think?

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Permalink Reply by Lee of MWOB on October 29, 2008 at 6:36pm

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that staying at home is work and the by far, with no comparison, the hardest work I've ever done. Producing television was WAY easier....I just think you have to go with what works for your partnership and since my man is not into waking up in the middle of the night, I do it. I can go back to sleep much more easily than he can. Once he wakes up, he's up and it's not easy for him to get back to sleep. All I can say if your man is resenting getting up in the middle of the night, why push it? More important than sleep for me is a happy union with my husband. BUT if your husband doesn't mind getting up, then I say right on!

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Permalink Reply by Lia on November 2, 2008 at 1:12am

Well, the only one of my children that occasionally wakes in the middle of the night is my 9 month-old baby. As strange as it may sound, I actually am glad to be the one to go get her. During the day, Kajanae's two older sisters are also in the competition for my attention, so I treasure those moments when I can just love on my little baby. :)

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Permalink Reply by Amy {Mom Spark} on November 2, 2008 at 10:41am

Oh, I totally get what you're saying, don't get me wrong either! I am unfortunately the one who has a hard time going back to sleep after waking in the night and I never feel rested.

I have tried putting my baby to bed a little later in the evening and I think it may be working out better, so pray for me!

Lee Vandeman said:

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that staying at home is work and the by far, with no comparison, the hardest work I've ever done. Producing television was WAY easier....I just think you have to go with what works for your partnership and since my man is not into waking up in the middle of the night, I do it. I can go back to sleep much more easily than he can. Once he wakes up, he's up and it's not easy for him to get back to sleep. All I can say if your man is resenting getting up in the middle of the night, why push it? More important than sleep for me is a happy union with my husband. BUT if your husband doesn't mind getting up, then I say right on!

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Permalink Reply by Catherine on November 2, 2008 at 11:25pm

When my little one was still waking up at night, I got up with her so that my husband could sleep. This was because I could get back to sleep easily and I could (maybe) sleep a little during the day while she napped, that never really happend but it was always an option. As a part of our deal he had to get up with her in the morning, whenever that was and I got to sleep in a bit while he took care of her and got ready for work...granted it was only an hour or so each morning but it made the difference to me.

Good luck with the sleep issue!

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Permalink Reply by Ivana Clay on November 5, 2008 at 10:37pm

Well in my house since I have twins we both get up! We do try to take turns though. My husband has been out of town for work a lot lately though, so it has been all on me. Luckily I am a night owl especially when he is gone so it isn't too hard to get up and see which one needs me. But when he is home we usually just have a routine. I agree that since I am the SAHM taking care of the kiddos is my full time job. But we all need a break sometimes! Plus we have three kids 2 and under so my husband knows what is expected of him! :)

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Permalink Reply by Summa on November 7, 2008 at 4:24pm

we switch off as well. i'm all about sharing the pain!!!! :-)

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Permalink Reply by Amy {Mom Spark} on November 8, 2008 at 7:29am

I like the idea of sharing the pain!

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Permalink Reply by PB Rippey on November 9, 2008 at 11:58pm

Our son is 11 mos. and still doesn't sleep through the night, waking three to five times with heavy-duty crying. I've read several sleep books, talked to my doctor, who insists we should let our son cry-it-out, but what seems to be working now (fingers crossed) is my husband getting up, soothing our son for about a minute, saying "night-night" firmly and leaving the room. Our son's cries lasted about 30 seconds all week with my husband taking over and last night he slept a solid six hours without a peep. I felt like a new woman today. My husband has always been quick to acknowlege that I, as a SAHM, work just as hard as he does, if not harder. He has also always been willing to get up in the night. We feel we both work hard, we both need sleep and we both deserve to experience the parenting--day or night. What we try to remind each other of is that this (our son's sleeplessness) too shall pass and at some point we'll ALL sleep through the night (or better than we do now!).