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Take it Easy!

I've been 'MOM-ING' for over 30 years. With eleven children to raise, experience has been a great teacher. One thing stands out more than anything when it comes to being a 'good' Mom and that is TAKE IT EASY! As mothers, we tend to over react to our children's growing cycles. Wondering how to handle the phases our children go through. Just remember, these are just phases, and 'This too shall pass!'

When things get overwhelming for me, I find a quiet, private place, (it's usually the bathroom); take a deep breath, say a heart-felt prayer, give all my frustration to the Lord and then take all my love to my children. Remember, when we're out of sorts, all we usually need is a good HUG, not a lecture...our children are the same.

Right now, I have a teenager that is about to drive my husband and I nuts. Her attitude is very CONTRARY. She always does and says the opposite of what we want. This is when my husbands humor comes into play and my deep breathing exercises come in handy! I repeat to myself, "Take it easy, she'll be just fine." Usually in an hour or so her attitude has completely changed and life goes on.

Now, there are times when concern is legitimate, and dealing with these issues may require different tactics, but, for the most part, if we relax and enjoy (sometimes, this can be easier said then done) we'll ALL make it!

If you've come up with some innovative ways to deal with these folks we're raising, I'd love to hear about it.

Thanks, Becky

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Permalink Reply by Grace Hodgin on July 21, 2010 at 1:02pm

Actually I logged in to see if you had any tips on how to be a good mother to a grown son, LOL. I spoke to my sister yesterday who has 6 sons and she admitted she feels that she doesn't know how to mother grown sons. They are so much different than daughters. I'm my daughters mother but I'm also a friend. It seems to me that grown sons want you to know what to do through mental telepathy and mental telepathy isn't my strong suit. Do you have any good suggestions on "being there for your son" without interfering in their lives?

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Permalink Reply by Becky Chapman on July 21, 2010 at 4:02pm

That is a great question. I've raised 4 sons to adulthood and still have 2 more to go. I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, but it is always different. By the time their teenagers, the most important things in their lives are friends, food and fun! You notice, family isn't listed. Not that they don't love us, they're just becoming independent and we are usually in the way. My 17 year old son is the hardest yet. He never gives information except where he's going and when he'll be back. That's it. It's part of their independence phase. It used to really bother me, but now I have to just let him spread his wings and FLY, hoping and praying he will remember what he has been taught for the last 17 years. Most important for me, is to keep my relationship with him a happy one so he can be comfortable coming to me when HE wants to.

My 21 year old son has moved back in temporarily and I only require him to say Hi and Bye with a hug and kiss on the cheek. He's grown and I don't mother him any more, unless he makes the first move and needs extra attention then I'm all ears.

Once my children reach a certain age, I feel very comfortable turning them over to the Lord because, God wants them to succeed even more than I do and his love for them is deeper than mine. One more thing, and this is the hardest of all...each of us are responsible and accountable for our own actions, I can teach and nurture, but in the end I cannot be accountable for my children's decisions and actions.

Hope this was helpful, Have a lovely day!
Becky Jane

Grace Hodgin said:

Actually I logged in to see if you had any tips on how to be a good mother to a grown son, LOL. I spoke to my sister yesterday who has 6 sons and she admitted she feels that she doesn't know how to mother grown sons. They are so much different than daughters. I'm my daughters mother but I'm also a friend. It seems to me that grown sons want you to know what to do through mental telepathy and mental telepathy isn't my strong suit. Do you have any good suggestions on "being there for your son" without interfering in their lives?

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Permalink Reply by Grace Hodgin on July 21, 2010 at 7:41pm

That was most helpful and thanks for taking the time in answering the question in the way you did.

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Permalink Reply by Becky Chapman on July 21, 2010 at 9:58pm

The only thing I would add is that no matter what, nothing is to be brought into the home that would compromise our standards. Such as their music, movies, pictures, internet activities, etc. This we are firm on no matter how old they are.

Grace Hodgin said: