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My Funny Mummy's Blog Posts Tagged 'humor' (174)

HILarious

You guys just CRACK ME UP.
Supermarkets! Who thought of that?! Man, they are FUN-NY!! Mum took me into one called 'Tesco' today. What a hoot! They have these little streets right, set out in identical rows! Honest to God! And they fill the streets with boxes and jars and tubs, set out in sections of the same stuff! Tears were just streaming down my face!!…
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Added by My Funny Mummy on March 4, 2012 at 6:53am — No Comments

Torment

Went visiting today.
Saw my friend Claire and her two boys; three and eight months. A couple of 'firsts' for me with Boo - time in a non family member's home, and being in the company of other young children. Clearly, an accident waiting to happen. So, question for you. Did she:
a) Cry none stop for all of the two hours we were there
b) Poke both children, quite forcefully, in the eye, rendering them both temporarily blind and thus understandably terrified…
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Added by My Funny Mummy on March 2, 2012 at 4:05pm — No Comments

Tag, You're It

This blog has few followers. I wear my fingers to nubs at this keyboard on a daily basis and I know there's probably just lovely little you, reading this right now, who in fact other than me, has read it at all. Because you're DEAD NICE. And intelligent. And you've got great taste. And you make my heart a little bit excited when I find out you stopped by. So thank you.

Anyway, when I saw a chain letter, chinese whispery, question answery thingy doing the rounds among other far more…

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Added by My Funny Mummy on March 1, 2012 at 5:39pm — No Comments

Really?

Click here for full post

Added by My Funny Mummy on February 29, 2012 at 3:17pm — No Comments

Lazy

Right. This has got to stop. Me and Dave are suffering some sort of self harming compulsion where, on a nightly basis we wedge sharp wooden sticks in our eyes, pace frantically up and down the living room and sporadically toss buckets of stone cold water over each other. We then down line after line of espresso in the hope of remaining awake, for no apparent reason, until 1am. We then hit the hay, slip into a exhaustion induced coma, and wake angry, unrefreshed and cantakerous to BB's…

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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 28, 2012 at 4:08pm — No Comments

Pummelled

Crunching, snapping, grinding, squeezing, crushing, pulverising pressure was my first ever Christmas pressie from Boo. Then she went and ordered me a back massage. She does love me. I think.


I normally frequent beauty establishments where you are consistently referred to as 'love', prices are handwritten on florescent cardboard stars…
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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 27, 2012 at 4:24pm — No Comments

Messy

Mum's poorly. Don't feel bad; it's her own fault. She's decided to become one of them amcobolicks. 


At first I thought she was just on some marathon baby talk bender. Sprouting babyish gobbeldy-gook for AGES. Turns out she was just on a bender. She thought she was talking sense, and to be fair she spoke more than usual; it was the slurring…
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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 26, 2012 at 5:06pm — No Comments

Oh. Dear. Her.

I mean er...him. No me.
Oh dear me. That's it isn't it. Oh whatever
IMG-20120225-00288

Added by My Funny Mummy on February 25, 2012 at 9:31am — No Comments

Drinky Poos

First proper night out as a Mummy. Without Dave. And it's a hen do. Oh dear.

I sense slurring, embarrassing photographs and at some point complete abandonment of blood saturated slip ons. 
Getting Ready Ritual

The only bra that doesn't cut into my shoulders is washed. The granny-sucky-inny massive pants are ready. Corn plasters are on, pits have been shaved and hair has been singed, sprayed and split-ended into oblivion. 
I know. Wit and/or…
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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 24, 2012 at 12:24pm — No Comments

Sitting Up

Sitting Up (Unaided)

By Betty Briars.
Ease Up
1) Take a deep breath, then slowly ease your face away from the floor.
Pose
2) Ensure mother is in catching distance at all times.
She does drift off.
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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 23, 2012 at 6:45am — No Comments

Scoffing

Betty's first 'proper' dinner of actual food that adults eat. Blended up carrot and potato, with a splash of baby milk. Yum. She left some so I spread it on the toast I had for my dinner. Proper tasty. And no chewing. Bonus.

Click here for video

UPDATE: My piles have cleared up. Just one small, stubborn but utterly sumountable bubble remains. In case you were wondering.

Oh. Sorry Boo. You were…

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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 22, 2012 at 11:26am — No Comments

Five Month Check

Betty was ON FORM.

She chattered.

She tried to sit up.

She laughed.

She blew raspberries.

She played.

She rolled over.

She broke the scales.

What a show off. She is definitely my daughter.

Amongst my cynicism, my rib ticklingly witty ways and my modesty, I must make one point very clear.

I love my daughter. I love her incredibly. I love her wholly. I love her so…

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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 21, 2012 at 8:46am — No Comments

Solids

BB's chunky rolls are a source of much mentioned cuteness and unparalleled joy in our house. The bounding layers of podge that signal her endearing gluttony are the stuff babies should be made of. She's sturdy, she's solid, she can be chucked around a bit without the worry that a part of her will fall off. She makes a formidable door stop. That's my kind of human.

But. Ample, chubby, rosy cheeked six month old - good. Corpulent, obese, lardy two year old - very bad. 

So. We could…

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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 20, 2012 at 8:42am — No Comments

My Life

You know what? It's alright being me.

I have a good old moan on here, but if I'm honest, these two are doing a decent job of making my life tick over pretty well.

My dinner for example - it is prepared, warmed and tested before arriving spot on the hour, at four well set intervals throughout the day. Yeah, the milk is bland, but after a series of dirty protests (they do take a while to catch on) Mum and Dad have begun to serve up some heartier, more flavoursome grub. Mashed up…

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Added by My Funny Mummy on February 19, 2012 at 5:28pm — No Comments

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